Joe's Blög

So work is done for the day…afterwork meeting no longer necessary….so basically I’m killing time until 7 when we all meet for dinner…

Last night was dinner at a Chinese restaurant…It’s the only chinese restaurant I’ve ever been to that did not have one single asian person working there…what’s that about…It’s like the Mexican restaurant in Lake Oswego that has no Mexicans working there…what’s that about and what’s that reference about…nobody is going to get that…

Lost my bouncy ball in the dark on the way home…

actually met an italian colleague who has seen the movie “Dead Man” with Depp and directed by Jim Jarmousch. Is Jarmousch a polish name….nah…..too many vowels….Also was talking to a british colleague who HAS NEVER SEEN Lock stock & two smoking barrels, Snatch, or Layer Cake….I will be loaning him the DVD’s…I also think I have Dead Man on DVD in the states…one of these years I’m going to have stuff sent over…

The more languages I hear the more interesting languages are to me…I expected Polish to have some similarities with German, but it’s nothing like Germany. Sounds like Russian to me, but one polish colleague says “we are slavic people”….

European history is really amazing…americans have no clue about this, but it’s incredibly interesting…

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Lunchtime at the hotel….Weather is finally lovely here…it had been raining since I got here…So we’re in Sopot which I guess is on the bay not the Baltic…I should really look at a map….

Broke a mirror here last night…It also managed to land on my foot and my foot is swollen…I tried to hide the fact that I broke it, but not so well…I wonder if I have to pay…

Went “shopping” but there was nothing worth buying…will I get in trouble for returning without souvenirs?

After the days conference I have another meeting, and I have to go call a colleague in the office now…Why isn’t this more like a vacation????

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Wow…the bed at this hotel might possibly be the most comfortable bed I’ve ever been in in my life…Not the best nights sleep, but the best bed….Somehow managed to have a horrible nights sleep….So behind on sleep it’s not even fair…

Went to C-Map Office…again I find some things about Poland to be strange…I’ve seen two KFC’s. Maybe Colonel Sanders does put an addictive Chemical in his chicken…

and now from Airplane:

Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower’s radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That’s Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?
———————————————————
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.
———————————————————
Rumack: You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.
———————————————————
Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?

and now from Top Secret (sorry it’s from IMDB and I can’t be bothered to remove the links right now):

Hillary Flammond: My uncle was born in America.
Nick Rivers: Oh, really?
Hillary Flammond: But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the Jimmy Carter presidency.

---

[Doctor Flamond is being rescued]
Doctor Flamond: How ironic. Another day and I would have completed my tunnel.

---

Hillary Flammond: Only a year ago, I was teaching a course in black history at the University of Blaupunkt.

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Hillary Flammond: I know a little German. He’s sitting over there.

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Deja Vu: Nigel, what are you saying?
Nigel: How do we know he’s NOT Mel Torme?

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Nick Rivers: Listen to me Hillary. I’m not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.
Hillary Flammond: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
[Long pause. Both look at camera]

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Hillary Flammond: People change, hairstyles change, interest rates fluctuate.

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German teaching tape: Die Sauerkraut ist in mein Lederhosen.

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[last lines]
Hillary Flammond: And I’ll miss you most of all scarecrow.

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[the East German national anthem]
All: Hail, hail East Germany / Land of fruit and grape / Land where you’ll regret / If you try to escape / No matter if you tunnel under or take a running jump at the wall / Forget it, the guards will kill you, if the electrified fence doesn’t first.

---

Nick Rivers: Hillary. That’s an unusual name.
Hillary Flammond: It’s a German name. It means ‘she whose bosoms defy gravity’.
Nick Rivers: I’m pleased to meet you. My name’s Nick.
Hillary Flammond: Nick? What does that mean?
Nick Rivers: Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.

---

[Introducing his men]
Du Quois: This is Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant Garde, and Deja Vu.
Deja Vu: Haven’t we met before?
Nick Rivers: I don’t think so.
Du Quois: Over there, Croissant, Souffle, Escargot, and Chocolate Mousse.

---

Martin: Nick, I’ve tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It’s no use, I just can’t bring my wife to orgasm.

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Hillary Flammond: Who do you favor in the Virginia Slims tournament?
Blindman: In women’s tennis, I always root against the heterosexual.

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Doctor Flamond: If they find out you’ve seen this, your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.

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Blindman: What phony dog poo?

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[on train at checkpoint]
Nick Rivers: Where are they taking him?
Colonel von Horst: They are not taking him anywhere.
[gunshot is heard off screen]

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General Streck, German High Command: …And once again, Germany will be united under one rule – OURS. After Sunday, there will be no one to stop us.

---

Latrine, Resistance Member: [throws dead carrier pigeon on table]
Latrine, Resistance Member: We have a traitor in our midst.
Deja Vu: Well done, Latrine. I see that you have taken care of him appropriately.
Du Quois: [looks at Deja Vu] Not the bird, you fool! This is a carrier pigeon on its way to the German Headquarters.

---

Colonel von Horst: [reporting on Nick's interrogation] They’re still working on him. He won’t break. We’ve tried everything! Do you want me to bring out the Leroy Nieman paintings?
General Streck, German High Command: No. We cannot risk violating the Geneva Convention!

---

General Streck, German High Command: [talking on the phone] What is the condition of Sergeant Kruger?
[pause]
General Streck, German High Command: Very well, let me know if there is any change in his condition.
[Hangs up]
General Streck, German High Command: He’s dead.

---

Du Quois: Nigel made me go back to the meter shed. He ordered me to set off the alarms.
Deja Vu: And what does he want us to do now?
Du Quois: Nothing you numbskull, Nigel’s the traitor!

---

Deja Vu: Don’t take it so hard Nick, life is filled with it’s little miseries, each of us in his own way must learn to deal with adversity in a mature and adult fashion.
[Sneezes into hands screams, and jumps out a window]

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OK…so am in Poland now…Not quite sure what to make of it yet….
landed at the airport after some 11 year old girl on the plane sitting next to me felt the need to tap my arm and insist that I turn off the MP3 player during takeoff….she said something in Polish and I said “English” and she said “sorry…would you mind turning that off please” I was trying to nap at the time so I turned it off cuz I didn’t want a half grown woman to be crying on the airplane…so I went back to sleeping, then five minutes later she said “I think it’s OK to turn it back on now”. Geeezzzz…..a real stickler for the rules…Actually I didn’t mind…even though the MP3 player had no wireless/Bluetooth/PCMCIA/G3 capabilities she probably saved 93 lives today….Thanks!!!!

anyways….land at the Gdansk airport and have to take a bus to the oh so impressive Terminal at the Gdansk airport…Honestly it’s about twice the size of the Salem Airport Terminal…Which basically is big enough to hold 3 chairs and 2 car rental agencies and toilets….and a hallway….anyways it was small and the luggage claim area had ONE BAGGAGE CAROUSEL…..Which was immediately past the passport control where the chick had to say “what is your purpose” 3 times before I finally understood her…the glass was kind of getting in the way from me hearing…I had to put my ear up to the hole before I could hear her….I said “business trip” and then she took an even closer look at my passport and had to check EVERY SINGLE PAGE of it before she finally let me in. Who knew the Poles were so picky….Also the Polish stewardesses can’t really speak english…I think I got every 4th word….Not that I blame them….I should speak Polish…It was a Polish airline after all….
remember in the states how the “euro trash” (that’s slang for non-native americans since we’re all just non-natives anyways) complains about the Mexicans not speaking english….I never complained about it…we stole half of Mexico anyways….jerks….

Then a car ride to the Finest Hotel in Poland…I’m glad they put us up in this posh place where we can really  experience “Polish culture”….we drive through areas of nothing but graffiti and decrepit brick buildings and come to this Grand Hotel on the beach with a live Piano player in the bar….Yeah I’m supposed to think this is the “real Poland”.

anyways….Colleagues pick us up for dinner….Sales guy joins us….
I love Sales guys….After about 10 minutes I realize I really really miss my life in Frankfurt….Dude is amusing really, but not quite amusing as sitting in my flat watching Lords of War or Alien.
No really the guys were OK, but not quite as OK as “home”….

I love my job….really…I’m so grateful to have the chance to travel and live in Germany.

One of the guys say “I finally get to meet someone from Nobeltec”. HA!!!! Nobeltec lives on….I’m so proud….

There was a book in the hotel of Gdansk (not sure of the language) …It’s actually quite nice…If only I had a coffee table to put it on….I’m not sure I’m going to get the time to shop or do anything extracurricular this week. which really sucks….

anyways….I really should buy a camera someday….My phone camera just doesn’t cut it and I’m dumb for not thinking of this last week.

I might take a bath for probably the second time this year….

Free Internet in the hotel….This place is really posh….

so in the end of “lord of war” there was a message (oh great…a movie with a message) it said something like
“the five biggest exporters of arms in the world are the US, UK, Russia, France and China…”
My comment was something along the lines of “Fucking French….”
yeah…I still think it’s funny….I occasionally act american just to confuse people…

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In Poland starting tomorrow til Saturday…may not have email all week….

Johnny Marr has that “G.E. Smith Poseur guitar god wanne be” quality that we all love so much…

Fart once for yes and twice for no….

Watched Lords of War. Had it’s moments, but really it could have been so much better….it was sort of everything that was wrong with a big hollywood movie…
Every actor gets a speech….OH SO DRAMATIC…
the death scenes  were way overdone and fake…
e.g. Someone gets shot in a tent….The camera is showing one side of the tent and you hear gunshots (on the other side of the tent)…blood splatters on the inside of the tent….FOLLOWED BY SOMEONES HAND BEING EXTENDED ONTO THE INSIDE OF THE TENT AND SMEARING THROUGH THE BLOOD….Ok So they showed this to some hollywood execs and they said…Yeah I see that there’s blood on the tent, but it’s just not dramatic enough…How DO i know that someone relaly died….No bullet holes came thorugh the other side of the tent….GOOD GOD PEOPLE!!!!! Hollywood movies suckkkkkkk….As if Hollywood execs/produces/script tinkers have seen people being shot…..

another example was when Jared Leto got shot….He blew up a truck full of ammunition with a grenade…Followed by running….One guy pull out his AK and shot Jared Leto….They cut TWICE to two other guys firing thier AK’s at him….He falls down and it takes him 14 minutes to die….OK…You just got shot 99 times and magically nothing hit you in your face (Can you just hear the director saying…”NOT IN THE FACE”. He’s a star….
anyways….You suck hollywood….It wasn’t a bad movie, but when you put crappy moments in a movie it sort of ruins it for me…..You would have been better off having the microphone dip into the picture you jerks….

I’m also pissed at T-Mobile this week…..

I also have to speak at the Poland workshop….Good thing I have a plan involving crying, puking, and walking in dog crap….Do you smell something?!?!

I also need to iron and pack today….

I’m also excited cuz I was promised Joey’s…I haven’t had pizza in weeks…..I miss Joey’s…..I also get great service cuz they know the American tips…

So Sanne says she doesn’t get half my blog…Yeah if you don’t get half of it I have to feel sorry for my mom……She probably doens’t get any of it…If only I could speak in complete sentences….Being an only child I only ever manage to come up with one liners….I don’t do conversation….

and since I’m thinking about it….I think the only character trait I got from my mother is our shared inability to tell a story in a clear concise manner….Every sentence requires some sort of sidebar which the person you’re telling the story to has no interest in….Doesn’t matter it’s my damn story I’ll tell it however I want….

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So I guess the week’s been eventful…Dad left for Singapore on Tuesday night…so following the other 9 “good Bye parties” we had one more at the airport….Drinking at the airport is cool….At least it’s better when you aren’t flying I guess…
NOT…

The old man liked to gamble on anything that was on TV…I usually won….

I’ll take the Yellow dog on the outside….he’s got some extra foam in his Mouth…
I’ll take the Bull in 3 seconds….He looks angry…..
I’ll take the Yamaha in lane 3…that dude has lots of stickers on his helmet….
I’ll take the fat guy…..

SHOTS….ON THE HOUSE EVERY HOUR!!!!

Speaking of good bye’s what is it with Kat and her “so and so is going to -insert some city somewhere- for a day. We need to get together to say good bye”. Any excuse for a party kat?

Not drinking at the airport is not cool……NOT!!!!!

speaking of which I’m going to Poland on Monday. Let’s have a going away party someone…j/k.

anyways Last night (Wed) was Modest Mouse…this was a show that was rescheduled from last June. Met at a pub to kill time then waded into the crowd at Batchkapp (can’t be arsed to look up the spelling). Full house…
Note…I just reread the first line of this paragraph….why did I say “last June”….uhhhhhhhh

Anyways…I thought it was a good show…sound wasn’t quite as good as at Southside, but to be expected I guess….Seeing MM at Southside changed my mind about “two drummers playing the same thing” I think they have a big drum sound live…awesome…and trumpet….not enough bands with trumpets….and there was cowbell from time to time….

My calls for “Thriller” and “Who the **** is Alice” went unheeded….however by the third time I was calling for Alice I was not alone….

Why is it that I now have to next through 10 songs on my PC before I find one that is listenable…geez…

As Phong would say ‘Even God hates Creed’

I’d like to add that in the 18 minutes since I started writing this I’ve had to say No thanks to Michael Jackson, Green Day, Pearl Jam, Oasis and probably some other crap.

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I think I may have seen Ronald McDonald trying to be surly today…unfortunately Ronald McDonald was about 9 years old and his head (with the finest Fro in Europe) probably weighed as much as the rest of his body. Some car cut him close in the crosswalk (the drive was probably scared for his life because a huge orange ball was about to walk in front of his car, causing who knows what kind of damage)…anyways Ronald apparently tried to flip the car off and stare car down, but it all ended up to be a half heartened attempt….I felt sorry for the kid….

Did someone just defend the Stone Temple Puppets by talking about “how many number ones they had”. This somehow ties into the Lionel Ritchie song that you had hidden on my external drive….mate…I had to listen to “hello” today cuz I couldn’t be arsed to get up and change it….it was like being at the Dentist…

You also have Creed? Defend that one please….no really….go on…..

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Having one last weekend with Dad at “The Irish Pub Bornheim” worst name for an irish pub ever!!! anyways…we still go there….
Four Bulmers gets you a free t shirt…I somehow managed to get 3 free t shirts this weekend…some of the waitresses are willing to bend the rules a bit…

Dad’s still a jerk for leaving us….we will still miss his sorry ass….

Lunchtime today:
So matt’s text was something along the lines of “they’re blowing up Scotland”
dad, Kat and I happened to be together so we all got the text at the same time…
Squires: uhhhhh…this is old news…
kat: Yeah Matt doesn’t read the news
Squires: Uhhh lets send matt a text with news….
Kat: Let’s all send him texts….

Ok, so we did….

First round

Kat: Kim John Il has nuclear weapons
Squires: Abe Lincoln has been assassinated
Dad: Joan of Arc has been burned at the stake….

We got no response, so we waited ten minutes, then decided we needed to send two texts each….

Dad: Queen Elizabeth has given birth to a son named Charles
Squires: Chelsea Wins the premiership
Kat: hitler annexed Austria

then another

Dad: (OK I don’t remember this one, but I’ll find out…)
squires: England has won the World Cup
Kat: Marie Antoinette was beheaded…

Matt still hasn’t responded….He’s obviously spinning with all the news we just gave him….Who says Aussies are too easy going….read the bloody news mate…John HOward is your PM….at least I know that much….

Spent time today listening to new (to me) Music….Lali Puna and the Cooper Temple Clause….both quality….thanks to whoever gave them to me (I’m guessing Sanne). Also listening to Floaters Live at the Alladin (Sanne again – how did I get music of a Portland band from a German???)….Not sure why I didn’t bring any floater CD’s or MP3′s with me…that was dumb….Lots of music I didn’t bring but should have….idiot!!!!

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