aussie Mel: Don’t make fun of people in wheelchairs!!!

so serious…was that really the most offensive thing i said all week…I obviously need to do better next week.

I’ve been compared to two celebrities this week….I had to look up Harald Schmidt! Not sure if either was a compliment though 😉

of course they were compliments…have you seen how good I look lately…

I did get the comment this week that I’m turning more German….It’s only cuz I haven’t been warm for weeks. Not my fault…

two people asked me about the England job…yeah…it’s just not happening…

ok my brilliant plan was to find something to complain about every day regarding the xmas market…but since I just came from there and I don’t want to be negative for the next 30 days I’m going to try to do it all tonight….

strollers, children, dogs, people with dogs, people who drink too much, carousels, chocolate, fat people, fat people with children, fat people with dogs, old people, old people with their grandchildren, people not like me, americans, protestors, church bells, bright lights, stupid people, cannibals, people not like you, cobblestones, DHL, fed ex, the england football team, men who have problems connecting ears, mouth and brain when having an emotional discussion with their women, small wooden figurines wearing christmas stuff, Nikolaus (jerk), stuff, flowers, weather….that’s all I got…I guess this means I’ll have nothing to complain about for the next 30 days right?

who is the other person in France who reads this page regularly?

people in wheelchairs should not be allowed at the market…day 2.

about the eng uh lund job….I was approached about the position, but turned it down. It was merely a negotiating tactic however as I know they will be back with a better offer soon.

Why yes I do have one of the great football minds of our lifetime…

where is Jeff (father)?

first day of xmas market and I’m already annoyed…I saw about 5 people with walking sticks…what’s that about…they take up the space of 2 people and move way too slow for the number of people that are about…whose brilliant idea is it to let the old people out…gee gramma hasn’t been out of the house for a year…she can’t walk…hmmm where can we take her that will be fun? oh I don’t know someplace where she’ll get in the way…somewhere with cobblestone streets so she can attempt to walk even slower than usual…hmmmmm…somewhere that we can give her wine to make her walk even slower and have to concentrate whilst not falling over the cobblestones….hmmmmmm….oh I know…

and people that hold umbrellas while looking at their feet are lame….please try not to poke me in the eye….

it’s xmas markt day one and I did I mention I’m annoyed….

I called the family on thursday and it was nice, but my favourite comment was from Cindy. She said something like “As long as You’re happy that’s all that matters”. Thanks Cindy. how true. I was trying to think if anyone else in my family had ever said that to me, and I can’t recall a time.

No judgement. I guess my parents were focused on other things?!?

The fake green lit up tree hanging on the side of Paulskirche is taunting me. It’s there for the xmas market, but the market has yet to open…

I’m already annoyed at the number of slow moving people in the area. i think I complained about it last year and I’m sure I’ll complain about it this year.

I watched some cartoon dubbed into Deutsch and it seems they don’t have commercial breaks during TV here…I remember thinking when I went to Denver last year that there were WAAAAAAY too many commercial breaks on american TV and it’s basically unwatchable because of that.

I have not driven a car in over a year…weird one that…

sorry if you came to this page hoping to be offended…I don’t have it in me yet today 😉

…and for the record…I am not interested in the England job…but thanks for the consideration…

OK people…I may have finally figured out how this blog works….In fact if I’m right I actually have a sort of format which kind of makes me a sophisticated blogger…

1) write something stupid/incomplete/vague/offensive
2) try to explain comments from a previous blog
3) Offend people or peoples
4) Write about how sexy I am.

here’s an example

step 1) write something either completely boring i.e.

The Frankfurt weather is nice…except when it’s windy…very much like Oregon, but without so much rain…

OR

write something that everyone can get behind…i.e.

Fat people are fat…

OR

old people are old…

OR

Midgets are short…

FOLLOWED BY a twist that offends…i.e. a statement that I agree with 19-99%…i.e.

…and the world is better off without them because they are expensive for health care etc.

another example…

People in cults should lock themselves underground and just kill themselves….

TWIST

christianity is a cult….

OR

Nirvana sucks!

Step 2) wait for someone to comment on my above statements and then half apologize…
uhhhh……I love midgets…

Step 3) Offending on purpose is hard….I never try to do it it just seems to happen….

Step 4) I am a sexy bitch!

hmmmmm if I was Matt I would have actually thought this through and formulated an opinion before writing, but since this is me…I just can’t do that and rarely edit myself…though maybe I will have to here…oh well happy thanksgiving anyways….

someone in Spain visited my page..hi Corinna….

I just realized since Corinna only checks this page about once every 3 months that she’ll probably never read that….